Though this is the default excuse, I swear I was going with the natural flow of traffic. As I was driving home from work with fresh paycheck in hand, I was strait up picked out of a line of cars all going the same speed. Instantly having my paycheck taken from me. I don’t make much money and I usually don’t save to much either, but this summer I’ve been saving almost all my money in order to buy a powerbook. It seems to me as though the second you make an attempt to get ahead, some unseen force always halts your progress.

Something like this has always been a fear of mine. That someday when I’m out on my own and obligated to save money, some kind of awful randomness is going to take it away. Something such as my car getting totaled or somehow having my leg broken and it not healing thus having to stay in a hospital for months accumulating a massive bill or something like that. I guess I can thank that asshole on the motorcycle for for confirming my fears….god damn it.

It’s absolutely freezing, and it’s only early October. Already I’m doubling up on sweaters, my fingernails are perpetually blue, and the frigid morning air makes me want to climb back under the covers.

I’ve spent much of the past week assembling the case for a detainee seeking asylum from the political hostilities of his home country. Having been savagely beaten, stabbed, and shot on the street by a gang of paramilitary rebels, and witness to the random and senseless murders of innocent victims at the hands of corrupt law enforcement, ironically enough, he would rather die than return to certain death. A compelling confession. He has been charged with illegally entering the country and faces deportation. I have become his hope, and his last resort. And I’m afraid I will fail him.

I hadn’t heard from John for the past two weeks despite calling him numerous times. It would seem that only an automated answerphone was accepting my call. On the rare occassion my call was answered, a confused man trying to figure out why an American girl was ringing his phone would proceed to hang up on me. What the hell was going on. I still don’t know.

And I was starting to get very paranoid. Not to mention frustrated. He is in the middle of a move to Manchester to start university on Monday, and considering I don’t have his new address yet I started worrying if I had lost him in limbo.

Today I received an email from him, finally. He’s been frantically arranging loans, accomodation, travel and such for the move. I feel much better having heard from him, although I still don’t have the slightest clue about his phone’s strange behavior. Weird. I hope it sorts itself.

I have walked outside once today to take my trash out. While outside, I noticed that it was beautiful day. This did not phase me as I continued with my mission to do absolutely nothing. Later, in the afternoon, I was on the phone with Andrea. She was sitting in an airport in Philadelphia,… I think. She ended the conversation by telling me to go do something tonight.
Yeah. I’ll get right on that.
Don’t worry about me. I have a tendency to do ‘nothing exciting’ quite frequently. It’s a gift. Every once in a while, I may make it to the kitchen to pour myself another glass of water. I am a hermit. I think it may have gotten worse since I moved out of the city. When I lived in San Francisco, I could go outside, walk around the corner and have a small metropolis at my fingertips. My old neighborhood so rocked. Not to say that I don’t like where I live now. It’s quiet and suburban, but I’m too lazy to drive across town to get the movie theatre or the grocery store. So, I am dwindling down my food supply due to my lack of motivation. Currently, I am surviving off of Triscuits and water. Apathy is such a great way to diet.

I May have finally gotten everything where it needs to be…Not quite shure how I did it though…