Though this is the default excuse, I swear I was going with the natural flow of traffic. As I was driving home from work with fresh paycheck in hand, I was strait up picked out of a line of cars all going the same speed. Instantly having my paycheck taken from me. I don’t make much money and I usually don’t save to much either, but this summer I’ve been saving almost all my money in order to buy a powerbook. It seems to me as though the second you make an attempt to get ahead, some unseen force always halts your progress.
Something like this has always been a fear of mine. That someday when I’m out on my own and obligated to save money, some kind of awful randomness is going to take it away. Something such as my car getting totaled or somehow having my leg broken and it not healing thus having to stay in a hospital for months accumulating a massive bill or something like that. I guess I can thank that asshole on the motorcycle for for confirming my fears….god damn it.
For the first time in quite awhile I feel the powers that be took a moment to smile on my otherwise uphill struggle.
I feel especially fortunate for my new job. I actually enjoy my job, and I never expected I would be able to make such a claim, still in my infancy among the “real” working world. My enduring pessimism had me convinced it would be several years into a career before I could, at the very least, even withstand the nine to five, let alone find it gratifying. I am finding myself pleasantly surprised. It has been a bit hectic and overwhelming to begin with, but that only makes it more interesting. I am undergoing training for the next five months to master the mechanics of the computer system [a world unto itself], processing stock trades and mutual fund investments, preparing hypothetical client portfolios, generating performance reports, and a myriad of other related projects. Continue reading
My parents have raised three vastly different children. My brother is astutely business-minded, tirelessly scheming and extraordinarily driven. The antithesis of his audaciousness, my sister is temperate and tranquil. She is a faithful friend, sister, and mother. And I am the quintessential idealist, the romantic dreamer. I tend to follow my heart, even if my mind advises against it; risking everything in the pursuit because no is not an option. My thoughts engaged in hypothetical debate, I’m defined by duality, often questioning and conflicted. My mother tells me I think too much.
It’s absolutely freezing, and it’s only early October. Already I’m doubling up on sweaters, my fingernails are perpetually blue, and the frigid morning air makes me want to climb back under the covers.
I’ve spent much of the past week assembling the case for a detainee seeking asylum from the political hostilities of his home country. Having been savagely beaten, stabbed, and shot on the street by a gang of paramilitary rebels, and witness to the random and senseless murders of innocent victims at the hands of corrupt law enforcement, ironically enough, he would rather die than return to certain death. A compelling confession. He has been charged with illegally entering the country and faces deportation. I have become his hope, and his last resort. And I’m afraid I will fail him.
I hadn’t heard from John for the past two weeks despite calling him numerous times. It would seem that only an automated answerphone was accepting my call. On the rare occassion my call was answered, a confused man trying to figure out why an American girl was ringing his phone would proceed to hang up on me. What the hell was going on. I still don’t know.
And I was starting to get very paranoid. Not to mention frustrated. He is in the middle of a move to Manchester to start university on Monday, and considering I don’t have his new address yet I started worrying if I had lost him in limbo.
Today I received an email from him, finally. He’s been frantically arranging loans, accomodation, travel and such for the move. I feel much better having heard from him, although I still don’t have the slightest clue about his phone’s strange behavior. Weird. I hope it sorts itself.
I spoke earlier about how i fell on something–which i later discovered to be a beer bottle. What i didnt speak of were the unforseen consequences that followed; consequences not even concerning my own head. And although i shouldn’t, i cant deny the humor of 6 or so peoples lives changing due to a guy bashing his face in on a beer bottle…too good. Unfortunately, I don’t think publishing my thoughts or details about the situation at this point wouldnt be such a good idea. Especially since I dont think i really want to deal with the situation at all right now.
I have walked outside once today to take my trash out. While outside, I noticed that it was beautiful day. This did not phase me as I continued with my mission to do absolutely nothing. Later, in the afternoon, I was on the phone with Andrea. She was sitting in an airport in Philadelphia,… I think. She ended the conversation by telling me to go do something tonight.
Yeah. I’ll get right on that.
Don’t worry about me. I have a tendency to do ‘nothing exciting’ quite frequently. It’s a gift. Every once in a while, I may make it to the kitchen to pour myself another glass of water. I am a hermit. I think it may have gotten worse since I moved out of the city. When I lived in San Francisco, I could go outside, walk around the corner and have a small metropolis at my fingertips. My old neighborhood so rocked. Not to say that I don’t like where I live now. It’s quiet and suburban, but I’m too lazy to drive across town to get the movie theatre or the grocery store. So, I am dwindling down my food supply due to my lack of motivation. Currently, I am surviving off of Triscuits and water. Apathy is such a great way to diet.
I May have finally gotten everything where it needs to be…Not quite shure how I did it though…
I received an email from ‘the boss’ on Friday afternoon asking me to meet with him on Monday to explain the procedures associated with my job in particular. I stared at the screen for a moment and my mind recalled that scene in Office Space where the ‘Bobs’ from corporate come in and have the employees interview for their own jobs. Seeing as how there have been a series of layoffs occurring within our company, offices closing down, a complete company makeover, blah, blah, blah,… I have to wonder what I’m in for come Monday.
LiveJournal is a complete nightmare to customize, what a convoluted system they have for creating your own layout, driving me mad, obviously created by total tech geeks. I’m fairly well versed in html and scripting, but they’ve created a monster that is beyond me. Much prefer Blogger’s user-friendly setup on the design side, but LiveJournal has so many more nifty features. I’m going to figure it out…eventually. If I don’t go insane first. I am such a dork, why do I bother, I should just use one of the retarded public templates. But no, I won’t. I need to have my own pretty pictures.
Freak accident earlier. I was putting up my hair before popping out to the store, pinning some back with bobby pins. Somehow I managed to accidentally jab my head with one, it hurt quite bad at first but I didn’t think much of it, I somehow do that quite regularly with those darn pins.